Even when led by the still small voice of our perfect God, real life messes are unavoidable; we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world.
Doors in ministry are currently opening around every turn for Lisa, Maria, and I. When the Holy Spirit is moving in our lives, we expect adversity since the spiritual battle is real.
The oppression of spiritual battle recently came over the three of us in a big way. I saw the initial attack instantly, yet the confusion did not make sense to me at first, so I had to wait and watch through the eyes of my heart until it became clear. In order to divide and conquer, Satan uses the tactic to prey on individual weaknesses. This can be devastating for relationships, but because of the work the Lord had already begun in my heart, I was able to see in the spirit to be able to pull out my big guns for battle.
Right away, I verbally prepared Lisa and Maria for what I was perceiving in the spirit. I thought by us being aware of the attack we could stop it, but Satan continued taking cheap shots at each of us. He was trying to divide our relationships to destroy the unity that Jesus was building through us together.
Multiple people working together infilled with Jesus’ power for kingdom purposes are Satan’s prime target. When battles like these are happening, each person in the relationship is “thinking” something different, depending on their own perspectives and beliefs which come from their own past experiences. Miscommunication is how relationships are divided and since there is no such thing as perfect communication, Satan uses this tactic all the time.
I had to get a grasp on what was happening. The environment felt so oppressive, confusing and unsettled. I felt sick to my stomach over the spiritual mayhem and I knew I was not able to respond in a way that was powerful. I personally had to step away from the group until I knew I was infilled with power and could withstand the negative forces that were coming against me.
The lies that I was battling from this attack were:
- I was unheard.
- I was no longer needed in the group.
- My role in ministry was not important.
- I am a teacher/discipler so I don’t get to have close friendships.
- I have to do ministry alone.
- I’ve made a mistake getting too close to Lisa and Maria by giving them my heart.
Because I was believing these lies, following were ways I planned to respond:
- I was already planning the next retreat in my mind without them.
- I was already planning the fundraiser without them.
- I was already rerouting in my mind how to move forward in ministry without them.
- I even told Lisa and Maria that they were ready to fly and needed to move on.
Following is what Lisa and Maria were believing:
- I was abandoning them.
- That they had to figure out how to move forward in birthing their ministries on their own.
- That I didn’t want to share the ministry fundraiser event with them because it was taking money from Dance Again.
- That they were going to miss out on retreats.
We all three felt as if we were grieving a death yet in the natural, nothing was different. It’s insane how powerful oppression is! This attack caused mayhem for a few weeks.
My husband and I were planning a trip to Hawaii. Maria texted me thinking we were leaving the following day to wish us safe travels. I responded to her text and told her we weren’t leaving for another week. This is when Maria picked up her phone and called me.
Maria called with the intent to clear up the misunderstanding over the day I was leaving for my trip. One thing led to another and we found ourselves in a completely different conversations. Maria began addressing me with my attitude in prison the night before. She said I appeared checked out. After she confronted me about this, I explained how I had been feeling lately, that I was no longer needed in our group. Maria then told me how she had been feeling, like she had to figure this all out alone etc. She shared that she could not shake the distraction from her emotions all day at work and I agreed, I had the same issue all day. When we began sharing our feelings with one another, the lies we had both been believing were exposed. Then we discussed what the Lord had revealed to each of us earlier that day. I asked Jesus for truth over if I was needed in Hope Ranch. The Holy Spirit responded to me by saying, “Dance Again is the foundation of Hope Ranch, without a foundation, a building cannot rise.” Maria said that she asked the Lord earlier that day if she had to build Hope Ranch alone, without me. The Holy Spirit said, “Hope Ranch is a cake and Dance Again is the eggs. A cake cannot rise without the eggs.” When we shared what the Lord said to each of us, the oppression was instantly lifted. We both felt it! It was gone! As if it were never there. Restored in an instant! The power of the Holy Spirit cast off the darkness and it fled in an instant!
Maria and I were overcome with emotion as we both encountered the lifting of oppression together. Wow! Words cannot define the consuming fire of Jesus’ love for us.
I learned that even though we can talk about a battle and know what is happening, there is no way to win a battle on our own. We must allow Jesus to fight in the Spirit for us or Satan will have his way in our relationships. We must be infilled with Jesus’s power through revelation in order to have the ability to respond to one another in a way that is contrary to our flesh.
Jesus is building something beautiful through the three of us working together. Stick around to see what happens next…